This was a fun holiday party…

Jef n Fran

jef n fran 2

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In August of 2005, the night before my cousin Brian got married, this happened in a hotel bar in Columbus, Ohio…


Merry almost Christmas, loyal readers.

Plenty of Shoe Goo.

I turn 40 tomorrow.

nearly 40

nearly 40

I’m not sure that I’m particularly bothered by this, except that I feel bothered by this.  A sense of perspective tells me that 40 is simply an arbitrary concept based on an invented system to measure linear time, but it’s hard to ignore such a deeply ingrained arbitrary concept, particularly when people start to give you “Over The Hill” cards.  I refuse to measure the span of my life with a climbing metaphor.

I will be unavoidably middle aged, which is what it is, which is maybe about halfway done, which if I think about it in terms of the amount of shit that happened in the last 39.9 years, is still a pretty good chunk of time.  (And that’s just the shit I remember.)  And how everything that happened, all the big shit anyway, led me to be sitting here at my desk in Brooklyn typing this post.  On a computer!

I have been growing a beard, which I plan to shave off tomorrow because I’m starting to look like a homeless person and I’m not going to be a 40 year old man with a trimmed beard.  Point being, it’s got some grey in it, the beard.  Not a lot, but some.  I’m okay with grey hair, it’s the reality behind it I dislike.

But I am wiser, goddamn it.  I’m so wise.  I’ve got this life thing figured out!

I do know that life is unpredictable, and that there is often magic in that unpredictability. And that everyone is trying really hard to live right, and that everyone is flawed and nobody is perfect, and just trying to keep that in mind is a big part of it all.

And that’s all I know.

I’m not sure where I expected to be when I turned 40, but where I am seems good.  I’m still struggling, but struggle is part of what keeps life interesting, and I’m not struggling as much as most.  I am living with a wonderful woman in a wonderful apartment, I have my health, and the HDTV I’ve wanted for years is on its way.  One of my shoes does have a hole in it, but I have plenty of Shoe Goo.

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Plenty of Shoe Goo.